the beginnings

The first thing you'll need to get used to, if you are to follow this page, is communication through song lyrics.

So the first song written over 2.5 years ago, as I was just about to commence my training psychotherapy, talks about the very beginnings, touching upon the themes of anxieties, hopes, a search for identity, a desire for self-knowledge, defences, masking, false self, preverbal states of mind and so on...

You can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7W4MYS-NF0 Enjoy!

Lyrics: Karolina Kalisz

Music: unfinishedsongs.info

BENEATH THE WORDS

Why I first came here

Was to get to know myself

I had a hundred masks

Or more on my shelf

Which is the real me?

In the quest to see my face

A mountain was unravelled

Of things I couldn’t face

The common feelings…

There was loss and there was grief

How powerful they are

I’m still in disbelief

Presence and absence

Being out and being in

The need to be held, and

The need to be seen

Deeper and deeper, layer by layer

It sucks me in

Like ogres and onions it brings out tears

But I persist

Beneath the words

Beneath what can be said

There lies the core

Will I ever get there…?

The whole thing’s painful

As ignorance is a bliss

Long gone is time of numbness

That I sometimes miss

It is a hard work

And it’s nothing for the weak

Touched upon in a session things

Work in me throughout the week

Have I seen the real me?

I suppose I have, but still

There is a fear inside

Whether what I’ve seen was real

How many layers

Am I yet to peel off

Before arbitrarily

Someone will say ‘enough’?

This still remains: Am I thick- or thin-skinned?

Am I chasing the wind?

Will I regret that I lost my time

If there’s nothing else inside?

Beneath the words

Beneath what can be said

Is there a core…?

And will I ever get there…?